Slap Me

to wake me up.
That's what it takes.
I needed that last push to get away from him.
No more communication.
I'm hopeful (:

1.I've gotten to sleep in two days
2.I cleaned my room
3.Got rid of a lot of useless crap
4.Told my mom off about her being irresponsible
5.hung out with Jessica
6.Got some new clothes
7.hung out with Kaylie
8.Figured out things for Tx
9.got angry at him
10. leading to me finding inspiration to get over him

I've been so busy

1.Dream meaning 1: I'm too passive because I just sit back watching other people live their lives hoping to be revitalized by it. This is a mistake. And that I'm being watched and evaulated because of it, but that is hidden from me. In the end, my spirituality is being disrupted by this action.
2.Dream meaning 2: I have a strong desire to make people love me and become dependent on me, but I try too hard. I have this fear that people don't feel this way towards me, but it's all in my head. I am making an issue out of nothing. In my life, I am moving away from the negativity in my life and overcoming major obstacles. I need to clear out my thoughts and get rid of my old habits, but I struggle with that. I have much "filth" in my emotions that I need to get rid of too reach self-improvement and spiritual nourishment, but I will redeem myself and regain my honor. I am entering a new phase in my life and becoming more emotionally mature.
2.Dream meaning 2: By the end of junior year I will be learning to accept aspects of myself. I am going to be going through self-exploration and begininning on a new path in life filled with happiness. Also I am going through a transition phase and journeying into the unknown. I am reflecting on the progess of my goals, but I will view them the wrong way. I don't trust others and view them as competition. I need to be more encouraging to others.
3. Got a B in spansih
4.went home early and slept for six hours
5.Got an A in history
6.finished all my anatomy work
7. finished my essays in time
8. break started
9. spent time with karen
10. had a sleepover
11. finished a nancy drew game
12. got an iphone!
13. got everyone presents
14. got to see jessica briefly
15. she liked her present
16. had fun at masterdrive
17. I know mc really misses me
18. Got a pretty dress for Christmas
19. Got to see my aunt Patti and Sally (crap that's not her name I don't think)
20. Got a webcam from Karen
21. Dad went to church with mom and I
22. I helped out with the kindergardeners (got 2 hours down)
23. loved the candle lighting ceremony
24. content with my grades so far (:

Finals!

Ahhhh.
I just need this week to be over.
And I'm starting to get sick. Crapppp

1.Went to church
2.Got wantons (:
3.Got to hang out with my best frennnn
4.Helped him again (:
5.Got an 85% on my heart exam
6.Finished my Honors Pre Calc Final!
7.Finished my band final!
8.Beat the rush out
9.Better day with my mom
10.Actually have an A in Anatomy
11.Spent another day with my best frenn studying
12.Went to Barnes and Nobles with Jordyn
13.He texted me!
14.Made plans
15.He sent me TWO smileys in one message!
 (I'm so silly, but it's simple things like that that make me happy)

Man, It's been a while

I just haven't felt like coming online.
The only problem is I have a poor memory.

1.Another dream meaning (they're so interesting)- I had two different dreams. 1.I want to find harmony in my life and have a sense of community and acceptance. I don't have the bravery to take the steps I need to, so I just stay in the background. 2.I have freedom and a hidden strength through God, but that one of my youth leaders may be leading me in the wrong direction./I may be disappointed with my religion/ That I'm being insincere with my feelings about religion
2.Had an assembly
3.Saw him perform (:
4.Jessica and Josh worked things out
5.Haven't talked to John too much
6.Slept in Thursday
7.Got to help him
8."Hung out" outside of class and youth group
9.Got to enjoy his beautiful smile (:
10.Hung out at the same time with best friend
11.Passed my 25 lines test
12.Had a good vent with Leanne
13.Got a 97 % on a math quiz
14.Drove to Panda
15.Slept in really late today
16.Drove on a bumpy dirt road.
17.Actually drove on a road with cliff sides
18.Hiked
19.Found a great place to go with friends
20.Helped my dad with dinner
21.Love the new The Script cd

Tredging Down this Endless Road

I just want to be done.
I'm so sick of school.
I'm so sick of work.
Of fighting for my grades.
Of worrying.
Of lacking sleep.

But I'm afraid of being alone once break starts.

1.Didn't feel too exhausted when I woke up
2.Memorized more lines
3.Special Secret Sticker Club
4.Joked around with Matt
5.Had break time!
6.Another note from the stinky coat xD
7.Sang Narwhal song
8.Got a free cookie xD
9.Renee and I are getting closer (:
10.Told Karen about my dream!
11."Fought" with  Josh
12.Talked to Rusty for the first time in a while
13.Went over to Jessica's
14.Good concert
15.No homework I HAVE to do tonight

Rock Bottom

What a place to be.
What a place to feel.
And on top of everything from today,
I haven't done any of my homework.

1.Straightened my hair
2.Actually felt pretty
3.Went to church
4.Sermon had to do with issues in my life (of course lol)
5.Tried a new restaurant
6.went for a bike ride
7.got to work out! haha
8.Another dream meaning! (Negative aspects in my life are controlling me and guiding me in life. I've tried hiding from it, but I'm finally getting away from it and returning back to aspects of my personality I had rejected before. But to do this, I must go and face the negative aspects.)
9.Saw Scrooge
10.Got to drive (:
11.Fixed an arguement

Haven't Been Feeling Well

So I haven't gotten on the computer.
It makes me feel worse when I have a headache.

1.Really starting to like Thriving Ivory
2.My dad introduced me to some new Police songs
3.Got two cds
4.Got to sleep 11 hours (:
5.Had a dream about him (an embarrassing one...but still)
6.Learned how to bowl (got an actual strike with no bumbers!)
7.Found out my friend is having a baby girl!
8.Got a new book
9.Found out my dream's meaning (I am afraid of showing who I really am. That I have good morals, but I lost them for a while. With the help of my religion, I'm starting to regain them again.)
10.Did well on my practical (I feel like it anyways)
11.Got to help him out (and he said thanks)
12.He offered me a ride (sometimes I wish I didn't have a car (; )
13.Had a lot of fun in Spanish with my BFF (Yakien and Opaca)
14.Drew a Targaluga

What a rollercoast day

There was so much good,
why is this pain overwhelming me?
It shouldn't.

1.I got to drive today in the snow and ice
2.I corrected a skid
3.Got to see my friends I haven't seen in a while
4.Got a note
5.Laughed really hard with my best friend.
6.My grades are finally good
7.Felt good bringing the box to help out
8.Got to have my favorite food
9.Talked to friends all day long
10.Went over to my best friend's house
11.Went to FCA
12.Actually did the trust excercise
13.Got his number (;
14.He said he wouldn't let me fall.
15.Had a talk with her, she told me she was proud
16.I don't feel alone

16! yes!
each day gets easier and easier to point out the good

Such a Rejuvinating Day

I'm very hopeful (:

1.The music at church calmed me down
2.The sermon completely related to what I was going through- strongholds
3.Looked up verses in my bible
4.God spoke to me!
5.Went to Fusion
6.Met some new people
7.Had a good time
8.Got to share my knowledge
9.Got to drive home in the snow
10.Got to listen to some of my favorite songs
11.Got to talk to one of my best friends- haven't had a good talk in a while
12.Am in such a good mood.
13.Raisins come from grapes?? xD

More than ten?! That's crazy

All Guys Are the Same

I swear.

1.He called.
2.We actually had a couple laughs
3.My dad and I had fun at dinner
4.I got to snuggle up with my puppies and fall asleep
5.We're in the same boat again (:
6.Finally saw Scarface
7.Looked up quotes
8.Made the decision he wasn't worth it
9.Found some funny pick-up lines
10.Found the ice cream sandwiches

I'm moving on

You're not worth it.
Screw you.

1.Got the pots and pans for Natasha
2.Didn't have wait outside for long like the maniacs
3.Got to go back to sleep.
4.Slept in till late (:
5.Called him
6.Didn't answer- I guess that's good
7.Had some laughs with John.
8.Really listened to FM statics music- it's Christain (:
9. Refocusing my life
10. Getting to my daddy

I Haven't Felt This Much Pain

in a long time.
A horrible beginning.
A horrible middle (with an amazing 2 hours of happiness)
And a horrible ending.

Well let's try to get 10 Positives:
1. I was told I look like I am skinnier
2. I played a prank on my mom
3. Got to eat a delicious thanksgiving meal
4. Went to the movies with my friend
5. Ended up picking a random movie
6. Laughed until I cried
7. watched some funny videos on youtube
8. Another random person called again- *cross your fingers*
9. I ran around the parking lot like an idiot with my best friend
10. He doesn't hate me

Why Ten Things?

I believe that making a list of just 10 things that went well in a day can quickly change how you feel. I believe that positives will start to stick out more. That negatives will lose value. And that soon enough, things will okay.

So everyday, just list 10 things.
That's all.

Sounds easy right?

I promise you it's not.

But it's well worth it :)